Loving kindness

Ed and I were in Scotland for a wedding, a Scottish wedding. The dinner choice was between chicken stuffed with haggis or beef with yorkshire pudding and all the trimmings. The after dinner choice was between death by Scotch or by beer. Fortunately, I got caught up in the ceilidh dancing and was too busy jumping around and do-si-do-ing to worry about an additional choice - to cigar or not to cigar? Ed, as a token non-dancing American, was not given an option. He was given a genuine Cuban and a glass of 12-year-old Glenfiddich.

Around 11pm he came to me, looking a little green, and said he'd be heading to the hotel room. I made fun of his cigar breath and twirled around, dancing Strip the Willow with my dad.

That night Ed was sick. It happens, especially to non-smokers who get through an entire Cuban.

The next morning, Ed was sick. I woman'd up and took my first turn driving on the left and shifting with the wrong hand.

The next lunchtime, Ed was sick. I dragged him out to look at a couple of his clan's monuments and put him back in the car.

After lunch, Ed was sick. Ed's never had a hangover like this, but I don't think he's ever smoked an entire Cuban before. I gave him some Irn-Bru (Scottish hangover cure and altogether nasty sodapop) and greasy chips. I left him to go to the Highland Games in Stirling with my sister and her husband. Jeff had also smoked at the wedding and felt queasy, but he'd only had a couple of puffs. He was fine by morning.

At dinnertime, Ed's sick. My sympathy is gone and I drag him half a mile to the restaurant, where I feed him greasy potato skins covered in chili. Anything to soak up the poison in his stomach and get him to man up and see Scotland with me. A 24 hour hangover? I ask you.

The next day, Ed's fine. We fly to Dublin. We go to dinner with my parents; I get one whiff of my food and am sick. For 24 hours. Ed brought me Gatorade and plain pretzels and other stomach-flu remedies. He didn't tell me to man up and see Ireland, and hasn't yet said "I told you so." Even when we found out that my brother and sister in law were also sick as dogs, with the stomach flu, the day after the wedding.