One by one all my stereotypes of Texas are coming true.
The latest? People are nice.
Three weeks ago I was desperately craving that consistent taste of Cinnamon Dolce Latte, so I walked right by two independent coffee shops that make fantastic cappuccinos and went all the way up the River Walk to Starbucks at the mall there. It was about 10am on a weekday and there was just myself, the barista, and one other customer in the shop. The barista asked where I was from, where I was living, what I was doing lately, how I liked San Antonio, and if I wanted Cinnamon Dolce powder even though I didn't want whipped cream. I told him "NO" and snatched my drink.
The other customer recommended two restaurants and a newspaper. I punched him in the stomach before he could drop the date rape drug in my drink. Why else would he be so nice to a stranger?
Later, when I told the guy at Lowe's that I needed keys cut he asked if I was new in town. I said yes, and he recommended a local flea market and told me I was going to love San Antonio. I kicked him in the shins and ran away.
The woman at the DMV...let me say that again, the woman who works at the place where out of state driver's licenses and dignity go to die...called me "sweetie" non-ironically and told me to cut to the front of the line when I came back with the necessary paperwork to get a Texas license. I assume she's had a lobotomy.
Why are people so flipping nice? What do they want?
My latest brain teaser has been that I don't have a job, so I should do volunteer work, but I don't want a volunteer job that requires a committment since I hope to have a job at any moment. All the "good" volunteer organizations require a committment. So how do I volunteer?
Shep suggested that I go to the airport and be mean to people on flights bound for DC. That way they'd begin to be acclimated and wouldn't have such terrible culture shock on arrival. I think it'd be a real public service.
People ARE nice here.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in MD, Jeromy went to a local bank here in Texas to set up a joint account for us. Obviously she had to contact me for my confirmation and such. Everything was "hon", "sweetie", etc. I was near to ROFL while on the phone, just enjoying the pleasantries. But what REALLY got me was when we were closing up, she said "okay hon, we're all set here, and when y'all get back from your weddin' you need to come by here so I can meet you!" Wha'?! Uh, okay...?!
Don't worry, I'm sure they all talked about you behind your back after you left. ;) Seriously, though, most of us Texas natives subscribe to the notion that you catch more flies with honey. That's always been one of the things I like best about my home state.
ReplyDeleteWhat I don't understand is how people like you, Allison, manage to leave Texas and not have your heads explode when people physically push you on the metro! How do nice people handle DC?
ReplyDeleteWe just keep on being nice and then call the pushers unprintable names through our apparently-smiling (but actually gritted) teeth. :) A lot of the time, if people are mean to you, and then you're nice back, they end up feeling pretty bad. Haha, suckers!
ReplyDeleteTurns out that there are a lot of nice people in DC, too, of course, just as there are plenty of not-nice people in Texas. Texas people tend to be more overtly FRIENDLY than folks up here in DC, but not always nicer, if you know what I mean.
Ha! Katie your blog cracks me up!! Thanks for posting these :)
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