Southern efficiency

This particular paper is newsworthy because it landed on our lawn this morning. "But Katie, isn't that how people get their papers? From their front lawns?" Yes, Grasshopper, that's what I thought too. Let me tell you a story.

I first requested a subscription when we were still in the extended stay hotel, and about three weeks ago I went online and requested it again. It's no Washington Post, but I can read the entire thing in 20 minutes, and 20 minutes a day to hear about the guy who got killed two houses down is a good investment. I should say "I could read the entire paper," since we didn't get a paper after that second request either, so I didn't read.

Monday I called the SA Express News customer service line and waited on hold for 10 minutes listening to two overlapping automated messages. I never figured out what either was about, since Lady One would say, "If you are interested in this service contact" and then Lady Two would cut her off with "this very important cause needs your" and Lady One would say "8241. Again the number is 210-" and Lady Two would say, "a dollar is all it takes."

When the very nice human person picked up the phone she took down my address and put me back on hold while she phoned another department. Apparently there is no route that covers our new subdivision (the historic area of the city is a "new subdivision?") so they'll have to re-route a paper boy, but she said I should get the paper by Wednesday.

Thursday night I called and told another very nice lady I still wasn't getting a paper. She took down my information again, and she even took a charge card number. And look! All you have to do is find someone to tell you how to pay, and you too can receive a paper. Well, find someone to tell you how to pay and also say, "I really hope I get a paper, I'm very frustrated." That's the Texas version of "f-ing get me an f-ing paper or else I'll f-ing cut you." She got the point and I got my paper.

Don't even get me started on our still-missing recycling bin.