Monday, January 5, 2009

To be Texan...

My sister said I can move to Texas but will never be Texan. I called shenanigans and said I'll be the Best Texan Ever, but the more I think about it the more I wonder if I'm willing to do what it would take. I think I would have to:
  • Say "yeehaw," non-ironically
  • Wear cowboy hats and/or boots
  • Be nice to strangers
  • Not honk at people who don't move when the light turns green
  • Own and operate a shotgun
  • Take Spanish lessons instead of French
  • Drink domestic beer
  • Have big hair and manicured nails
  • Understand the attraction of high school football and of beauty pageants
  • Think driving four hours for barbeque ribs is a good use of time
  • Know my neighbor's last name and drink preference
  • Stop confusing "hook 'em horns" with the sign for "I love you"
  • Walk and talk like there's time to be wasted
  • Understand what 110 degrees feels like - for three months at a time
  • Eat breakfast burritos
  • Think bigger is better
  • Trade my Civic for a Ford F350
  • Say "don't mess with Texas" without adding "bitches"
  • Stop making fun of Texas.
Hum. I'll let y'all know how this goes.

8 comments:

  1. I don't know how similar San Antonio is to Fort Worth, but here, it seems that about 8/10 people we've met came from somewhere else. Our closest neighbor friends grew up near Philly and DC. When I moved here, I thought for SURE I'd be shot when I mentioned being an Eagles fan, but instead I found another fan right up the street!

    Texas is still very different... The weather for starters. Again, I don't know how similar San Antonio is, but here, the weather is crazy. They say if you don't like the weather, wait a day. Texas has four seasons: drought, flood, blizzard, and twister. Saturday was 84 degrees and sunny, today is 31 with freezing rain.

    People are definitely friendly. I won't say friendliER, but having worked in DC... yea. Friendlier. Less motivated by the things people in DC are motivated by. (Just don't bash Bush.)

    And the whole gun thing... woo. New Years Day news had a segment on the random gunfire that happens every year at midnight - people just shooting their guns up into the air and the bullets have to land somewhere. That's kinda scary! (That was in Dallas)

    But it's really not too bad here... different. But not horrible. :oP

    Best of luck to you and Ed!!

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  2. oh yea-
    http://hubpages.com/hub/Texasisms-A-Glossary-of-Texas-Speak

    and they really do say "fixin' to" here!!

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  3. You missed one.

    Speak no more than 3 words in a minute.


    You might want to start by slowing down to 300 wpm.

    :-) Say hi to J&B for me!

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  4. Considering the text message I received from you Saturday morning, I have a feeling the first and second to last on your list might be a challenge -- since you've taken to the two of them together :)

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  5. Before long you will find yourself saying "I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could!"

    :) It will be a culture shock, but from what I know about you and Ed... y'all will fit in in no time at all. You might even like it here.

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  6. Congrats on the move!

    FYI, I grew up in Texas and my whole family's from there... and I don't know that any of us say "yeehaw" non-ironically. Nor do I wear cowboy boots and hats or own a shotgun. Also, it would take an act of God to give me big hair. So I think you'll fit in fine just as you are! :)

    And if you have to drive four hours for good barbeque... well, let's just say you can't really be in Texas! Ooh, and some advice regarding restaurants, too - if you like good Mexican food, look for the hole-in-the-wall places. Those are the best Mexican restaurants!

    I'm fixin' to go back to work now, but I just wanted to tell ya'll hi! ;) (Yeah, Texans DO say ya'll and fixin' to.)

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  7. Do Texans use the triple plural, "All y'all"?

    My Alabamian friend had me laughing all morning one day.

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  8. Texan's do not say "All y'all", but Alabamian's sure do - at least every one I ever met!

    Oh and considering that Texas is about 8 hours across it's longest end, you really can drive 4 hours for good BBQ. Given you are only an hour south of Austin, you will never drive too far for some of the good stuff. :)

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